Will I Ever Stop Smoking? My Failed Attempts at Quitting [I Quit Smoking Blog Series]

I was 16 years old when I learned how to smoke, and it was because of the influence of a family friend. Because she was renting a room in our house before, I got to spend a lot of time with her. I used to watch her puff cigarettes and wonder how it feels like to smoke. That’s how curiosity got the better of me and pushed me to try one stick.

After my first attempt, my next encounter with cigarettes happened after a long time because I didn’t really liked the taste of cigarettes. However, I was urged to try smoking again because of my high school friends. That’s when I rapidly learned the right way to puff and that led to my addiction to nicotine. My body constantly longed for it until it came to a point when I was unconsciously consuming three, five, seven, up to one complete pack of cigarettes in one day. I couldn’t help it because my system became dependent on smoking. I even end up spending my school allowance just to sustain this vice of mine. During times that I was low on cash, I resorted to stealing cigarettes from our store just to satisfy my urge to smoke.

Yes, it was hard to admit, but the ugly truth was I became addicted to cigarettes. I didn’t care about anything except for the satisfaction that smoking seems to give me.

My failed attempts to stop smoking

During my first attempt, I was able to lessen my cigarette intake to about 1-3 sticks every other day in a span of one month. This was actually compulsory due to severe cough and difficulty in breathing. However, I easily went back to smoking when I recovered and my health went back to normal.

After a few years, with the help of a friend, I was able to lessen smoking again in three months. She gave me a book about the bad effects of smoking on the human body. What I learned from that book motivated me to change, but all of those lessons became all for nothing when I returned to my habit of smoking.

A lot of time passed after my second attempt, and this is because of stressful situations I’ve been through for several years. During these trying times, I felt like cigarettes are my only refuge. However, the longer I became stuck with this habit, the more I became ashamed of myself. I don’t want to live like this anymore, I said. I resolved that I would attempt to stop smoking again, and this time it would be for good.

So I tried to stop smoking again, but I ended up with a bad case of cough for one month. I just learned from an annual check-up that I’m infected with pneumonitis. I figured that it could be a withdrawal symptom so I resolved to stopping gradually. However, all of these efforts resulted to nothing because my colleagues at work are all chain smokers. That just discouraged me in my efforts to quit this unhealthy habit. Sadly, I failed yet again.

After two years, I purchased an electronic cigarette because several articles say that it can be an alternative to smoking and it helps lessen withdrawal symptoms for individuals who want to quit. Unfortunately, I only used my e-cigarette for a few weeks because I returned to smoking actual cigarettes because my body longed for them so much. “I give up, “ that’s what I said to myself during this time.

Cigarettes are truly addictive. It’s true when they say that, “Once you puff, you can’t stop.” However, I don’t want to live like this for the rest of my life. I don’t know when, but I know that time will come when my mind, heart, and body will be all geared towards stopping to smoke. Let’s hope I can do it.

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