“I can’t ruin my plans now,” this is what I said to myself. I did everything to remove thoughts of smoking in my head. I silently recited the reasons why I want and need to stop. I also wanted to prove to people that I can stop smoking, especially friends who keep on saying that I can’t. I know it’s not right to change for the sake of proving others wrong, but in this case, it wouldn’t hurt to use it to motivate myself. Because of these ways, I overcame the urge to smoke.
During the whole day, I fought my cravings through eating nuts, drinking plenty of water, and focusing on work. Fortunately, my colleague who usually goes with me on cigarette breaks are on leave on that day, which made it easier for me to ignore my cravings. However, I also experienced moments of weakness. I couldn’t focus; I was so sleepy; I felt nauseous; and my back hurt. I felt like I’m getting terribly ill. But despite all of these, I didn’t smoke—not even a single puff.
I used to have a habit of smoking before going home. “Don’t even try lighting a stick. When you do that, you’ll fail,” I said to myself. As a result, I reached home without even smoking a single stick. I thought my ordeal was over because it would be bedtime in a few hours, and I would escape from the cravings that were torturing me the whole day. But I was wrong.
During the night, I woke up several times because it was difficult for me to breathe and I was experiencing panic attacks. I overcame these intense cravings by drinking plenty of water and licking a little salt with the tip of my tongue.
You have no idea how hard it was for me during the first day. I felt so devastated physically, emotionally, and mentally. It’s like I was going crazy. But I won’t let my cravings get the better of me. I need to press on. There’s no turning back.
But can I still carry on with this?
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