Overcoming Insecurity in Relationships: Avoid False Assumptions

If we have hurt in our previous relationship, it is just normal to feel emotionally vulnerable when we move on to another relationship. There will probably be many questions in the back of our mind that could force us to assume things which are not true. And, obviously, we typically find what we’re looking for, even if it is not really there at all.

We do continuous monitoring: “Do they look bored? Do they really want a serious relationship? Why does this other person keep calling them? Are they not paying attention to me? Why does my gut tell me this?” All this can turn a good relationship into a bad one.

Healthy people are slow to make false assumptions. They look for the details, ask questions, and carefully analyze other angles before coming into a conclusion. In contrast, those who have dysfunctional mental health issues habitually make incorrect assumptions.

If you catch yourself so certain about something, ask yourself first if that is based upon an assumption or something more substantial and reliable. Ask a question in a respectful manner. Look at different angles. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. We can avoid faulty assumptions and live free of many fears and anxieties by having a healthy communication. Emotionally and mentally mature people deal with truth rather than deny it or escape from it.

If someone in the past mistreated us, then feeling doubtful is a normal and an acceptable response. However, if you’re really in a good relationship, don’t let false assumptions ruin it.

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